How to throw away trash.
How to change a toilet paper roll.
Hey everybody! It’s been a while since I have posted, so I wanted to catch you up on what’s going on with the Ill-Prepared Housewife.
When last we spoke, I was having trouble keeping my chickens in the yard. My milkshake may bring all the boys to the yard, but chickens, not so much. Maybe I should’ve snuck in a little kale.
Since then, the chickens have all met grizzly deaths at the hands of various unseen natural predators. It was sad, but also inevitable. I don’t know if it had anything to do with their wanderlust for the larger neighborhood (I found just a pile of feathers in one case, so there’s a scenario in which a neighbor found the rest of the chicken, dead, in their yard) but it got me to thinking that I’m not sure chickens are for me. Too sad, and not enough eggs in the end. We might get some more next year, but for now, the chicken coop stands empty.
On the housekeeping front, I let our cleaning lady go. She started working for us when I was pregnant with my youngest children (twins) as a nanny/ housekeeper. Over the years, we needed her less and less and she transitioned from full time staffer to once weekly heavy lifter. The time came when I foolishly thought that the kids should step up and help clean the house and that I would be able to stop binge-watching shows on Netflix and clean the house already. So now I do the heavy lifting as well as the glamorous stuff like laundry and dinner and not making the beds. A groundbreaking expose on vacuuming is in the works. As well as an episode-by-episode review of Weeds (the entire series).
On the blogging front, my partner in crime, Gena, has decided to step back from regular posting to focus on her family. She’s doing 3-5 for blogging improprieties. Wait, it’s not some dystopian future. She’s just resting (cough-cough plastic surgery) (Totally kidding on that one. Gena is a beautiful woman who never seems to age.) (Cough-cough rehab for tv addiction) (Just kidding, that would be me). In any case, this is not a code for a firing like in the political world, and you can tell because she is taking on a new role as our Social Media maven.
Speaking of which, we’ve already started a new social media campaign. Henceforth you will be hearing from the Ill-Prepared Housewife on lots of different platforms. There’s Instamonday (when there’s a post on Instagram) Pintuesday (Pinterest) and Twittednesday (working title, but there’s a Twitter post every wednesday!) We ran out of snappy names and got a little tuckered out on thursday and (spoiler alert) Fracebookiday. More to come on those.
So in the immortal words of Bernie Taupin, the bitch is back! More posts coming soon.