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I am a very lucky person, because where I live, everything is very conveniently located. There are three types of grocery store (high end organic-type, get everything you need type, the kind the old ladies like) within 2 miles of my house. So you would think it would be easy for me to have all the food supplies we need on hand at all times. But somehow it doesn’t work out that way. Why?

  1. Some people are picky. Some people really like a certain particular cereal for breakfast every day that is both cinnamon and Chex, which somehow falls in the category of easiest to miss in the cereal aisle at the get everything you want store and too pedestrian to be at the high end organic market and too high falutin’ for the old lady place.
  2. People keep consuming this stuff. I mean, if you buy 8 gallons of organic lemonade, should you have to get lemonade every three days? Can’t people just pace themselves? I mean, they’re getting lemonade at dinner every night. What kind of mother am I anyway? Who am I kidding that it’s lemon and organic makes it sufficiently better than sugar water to justify buying so much of it. Even the high end organic market checkers are giving me the stink eye.
  3. We still don’t have a cow or an apple tree. So the milk runs out and so do the apples. One time, my friend offered to give me a gallon of milk because she and her husband both accidentally brought one home, so they had two gallons. It took me awhile to understand that she wasn’t describing what we call in our house “low milk conditions,” or “Tuesday.” But then we took the milk and I’m not sure any actually made it all the way to the house.
  4. Dinner comes EVERY NIGHT. Still unbelievable to me. I was sure it was an alternating thing. Isn’t it?
  5. Somehow, in a household that consumes vast supplies of lemonade, milk and apples, the vast majority of perishables actually perish in my refrigerator. Due to excessive amounts of pregnancy, my nose doesn’t work anymore. So it’s often after the cheese is sprinkled onto the chili that I notice the mold spots (my eyes are going as well, apparently).
  6. I am too busy doing laundry, making beds, driving people to tutors, softball games, voice lessons, guitar lessons, bass guitar lessons, dropping off dry cleaning, planning art projects for school, planning Frozen themed half birthday parties, enlisting bakers for teacher breakfasts, soliciting volunteers for year-end games-based fun days and maybe getting my nails done that one time to get to the GD grocery store. What would you like me to pick up when I do get there?
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